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Whatever it is, the fandom is taking an emotional toll from you and giving very little if anything in return. Like many writers here, I used to love Game of Thrones. Even as the show went downhill and its flaws became more obvious, I still watched it. So I walked away from that fandom. You may decide that only certain parts of a fandom experience are toxic and leave just those behind.

Or that the entire fandom is a crapsack on fire, but occasionally you can and want to deal with that. Nope, not gonna happen. There are times you outgrow a fandom. Maybe the fandom and you should just be friends. We meet many of our fandoms through other people: Sometimes, and this tends to be painfully obvious when we distance ourselves from certain relationships, turns out that fandom was never one of our fandoms.

We dedicate time and energy to fanworks and discussions, we buy fandom merch, we freak out with every little piece of news.

When do we Move On from a Fandom?

I pity my friends and family once The Winds of Winter gets a release date. As much as I joke about this, though, my regular life will still go on.

I will still have work to do, classes to attend, clueless friends whose patience with my enthusiasm only goes so far, etc. Sometimes, however, hobbies become obsessions. The tricky aspect of unhealthy fandoms is that what marks something as unhealthy for me may not make it unhealthy for you. The best advice I can give is to keep an eye for signs that your love for a fandom is out of control, especially if they happen frequently: If you notice your love for a fandom has gone too far, slow down.

But we should always make room for new fandoms too.

Once Upon a Tower

Being exposed to new stuff means we have more awesome stuff to love, but also that we learn how to see our older fandoms under a new light. Yes, eventually this means you will fall out of love with one of your old fandoms. What made your first fantasy series special may sound cliche or bland after your tenth fantasy series. But is it bad?

Each cycle becoming more intense and more destructive. The woman may hope that the priest is in a discernment period during these cycles—and he may well be. Many priests have left the priesthood to become husbands and true fathers, men of faith and family. But, it is typically up to the woman to introduce the subject because the priest has too much to lose if he initiates the conversation and the woman rejects him.

He usually will not take that chance. In this day and age, most priests do not have the theology or confidence to leave and will choose the priesthood over marriage.

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But it's the only choice that can eventually be made, and take it from one who has been there and done that, the woman is better off breaking contact as soon as possible once she has received his unequivocal "no" response.

Due to the extreme difficulty for both to part so suddenly, there is usually some lingering and false hope—for her, that he will see the light and reject celibacy, and for him, that she will continue to be his proxy girlfriend while he remains in his priestly vocation. If a woman feels her vocation is marriage, then this would require him to forsake his vocation so that she can gain hers, or, she would have to give up her vocation for him to keep his.

Hence, the added emphasis of "run" and "leave.

Once Upon a Tower (Fairy Tales, #5) by Eloisa James

Otherwise you're in for a world of pain, or rather, additional pain, since you're already emotionally damaged for the short term, and possibly for the long term. Dealing with Rejection Next, comes acceptance. The woman will want to make excuses for him and will probably always love him.

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But never forget that "yes he did use you. And, intentionally or not, he did this by manipulating, lying, and robbing a woman of her self-worth, manipulating her into believing there was the possibility of a true relationship, and finally, lying—to her, to himself, and to anyone he talks to—by saying that she never meant a thing to him.

Catholicism feeds him this worldview. So he is not only manipulating the woman, lying to her and robbing her of her self worth—he is doing these very same things to himself.

Fear of his reputation, his job, his reliance on the Catholic church for his livelihood. He masks this with anger, lashes out at the woman frantically, proving his weakness under the shadows of celibacy by trying to exert a false power. Again, the woman must accept that this is the case, and go through the grieving process.

I mean, facing the truth, and eventually understanding why this is his initial reaction. Justification Later, the priest may apologize, and even believe that he is sorry. But what he is sorry for is his harsh reaction, not any of his other actions. Mark my words, the priest will justify the relationship in his mind no matter how far it went.

When do we Move On from a Fandom? - The Fandomentals

I blamed, in this order: X, and 3 the Catholic Church. I could only control my own actions, so I blamed myself the most. Next I blamed Fr.

X for his schoolboy mentality and the way he handled and justified everything between us. Forgiveness Damage has occurred that mere words of apology and forgiveness cannot undo. In truth, it is the other way around: The woman has just suffered intense emotional and spiritual damage—to add the pressure of forgiveness on top of that might be too much to bear, resulting in even more unnecessary guilt. Do not feel guilty and do not worry about forgiveness.

Trying to let go, to forgive, does not work. It lies solely with the way he treated me in my most vulnerable hour, when I shared with him my feelings about wanting to either go one way or the other with him and stop living in limbo. For the priest to believe that an apology afterward will make things right is like taking a delicate flower, squashing it into the ground with his foot, then picking it up later fully expecting that it can be put together again the way it was before.

Its form and being have changed. All the forgiveness in the world cannot bring it back to its original state. The Church has some arguably rigid and Pharisaical doctrines, but each person is responsible for choosing whether to follow them and in doing so, causing a great deal of pain for another person.

Dealing with the Initial Shock and Grief There are no words when your world comes crashing down. It is shocking and unbelievable.

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As I said, the priest may try to get back together once the dust settles. The initial grief is the most intense, typically. In those first few days, I remember pulling off to the side of the road while driving to sob and cry and scream.

I cried times per day that first week. Then it was once a day for a month or two. Gradually it was once a week, then maybe once a month.

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Do yourself a favor: