Article· Literature Review (PDF Available) in Journal of the American The research literature on normative mother-daughter relationships is .. psychology and development of women, including Helene Deutsch's present-. of research which inform our understanding of adult mother-daughter relationships. First Published November 1, Research Article The implications of the various controversies and debates for critical psychology are considered. This paper re-examines Toni Morrison's Beloved to identify an example of the types of mother/daughter relationship that existed between black mothers and their.
Whatever your relationship with your mother or daughter, you can always make improvements. Make the first move. Doing so inevitably leaves relationships stuck.
15 Insights on Improving Mother-Daughter Relationships
Many think that the only way to improve a relationship is for the other person to change their ways. Interestingly, this can still alter your relationship. Think of it as a dance, she said. When one person changes their steps, the dance inevitably changes. Both moms and daughters often have idealistic expectations about their relationship.
The Paradox of the Mother-Daught
For instance, kids commonly think their mom will be nurturing and present — always. This idea can develop from an early age. When her kids were young, Mintle found herself setting up this unrealistic belief during their nightly reading time. Lack of communication is a common challenge with moms and daughters.
Be an active listener. They realize conflict is inevitable and they deal with it head on. This applies to mother and daughter relationships, too, she said.
Not resolving conflict can have surprising consequences. But pick your battles. Instead of arguing about something so small, Mintle put the hat on and moved on.
Put yourself in her shoes. But a panoramic lens provides a much wider view, letting us see the object in a larger context. Mintle views forgiveness as key for well-being.
Balance individuality and closeness. It can be challenging for daughters to build their own identities. Sometimes daughters think that in order to become their own person, they must cut off from their moms, Mintle said. Both are clearly problematic. But daughters can find their voices and identities within the relationship. We learn how to deal with conflict and negative emotions through our families, Mintle said. Many times, women are told they are immature, dependent or needy if they still want to be in connection with their mothers.
The truth is we do need to change the relationship not through distance but towards a more mutually responsive relationship. One that is a mature relationship not one that is still characterized as a parent-child relationship, with its power-over quality but with a mutually empathic, sharing quality.
We will always need a connection with our mothers, even if it is not possible to have one. We know that her sense of self, as a person, evolves from her attachment and identification with her mother. It becomes the prototype for all other relationships. So why is the mother-daughter relationship so many times fraught with anger, disappointment and bitterness?
Here are things I have heard women and girls say: Then answer the question as if you were your mother. What does that say about me—I am a female too?
Lwati: A Journal of Contemporary Research
No one is really interested in what we think, feel, want or need so we never say it. So where does that put me?8 Ways to Improve Parent Child Relationship
How has this effected me? How did this effect my mother? Girls then have a problem—how do I identify with my mother. To be a female, do I have to internalize these negative beliefs too? Did my mother internalize there from her mother?
Does that describe me? How much freedom do I feel with regard to my body? What keeps you from doing this and what kept your mom from doing this?